This week I'm sharing with you the first of a five part video series I just released 'On Healing Anorexia Through Ashtanga Yoga'. This a topic that often feels very taboo in the yoga community, and yet there are so many women and men suffering from it. Having struggled with an eating disorder myself for over 13 years, and having tried all kinds of therapies and healing methodologies along the way, I stand today proud to say that it wasn't until I began to practice Ashtanga Yoga seven years ago that my healing process began. I stand today free of an anorexic mind thanks to a steady, devoted, sincere practice. The journey into wholesomeness is never easy and it never ends; once you begin uncovering the truth you can never stop you can only continue to refine. The journey needs bravery, faith, patience, willingness to fail, truth and support.
As a teacher I see how many women and men suffer from an eating disorder, and how much shame and silence surrounds it. Anorexia is a mental disease, a nervous system imbalance, and needs to be treated as such. There is nothing to be ashamed about it, it's just part of the journey of becoming a wholesome human. For the longest time I felt ashamed to have anorexia and later to have been a victim to an eating disorder. Today I see the value in it, I see how much it helped me to overcome so many fears in life, to learn to ask for help, to learn to share, to learn no one is perfect. There is nothing wrong with admitting we have a problem, we all do. I'm a firm believer in sharing, and use my platforms as a way of sharing my own journey in the hopes that this will inspire others to open up and be vulnerable.
One of my favorite speakers Brenee Brown recently came out with a book about vulnerability, 'Daring Greatly' (you can buy the book here) which I highly recommend reading. In one of her essays she says "We’re hungry for people who have the courage to say, “I need help” or “I own that mistake”". It's true, we are always looking for someone to give us permission to speak our truth, to be or do what we really want to be or do. But what if we were to give ourselves that permission?
A funny example of this happened this weekend, my boyfriend and I led the Full Moon Celebration at Chapel of Sacred Mirrors, he was playing with his funk jazz band Telepathic Moon Dance, his music is so groovy it's really hard not to dance. The venue was packed, people were standing swaying from side to side looking around. You could tell everyone was just waiting for someone to start the dance party, giving them permission to dance themselves. I was on the side recording the show having a dance party myself, a crew of people behind me where dancing shyly, but it wasn't until this one beautiful free spirited girl leaped onto the dance floor right in front of everyone and started dancing like a wild child, as if no one else was around with so much joy and innocence that everyone else broke into a dance party. Sometime we all need someone to give us permission to freely express ourselves. I hope you all have that someone in your lives :)
Join me in Costa Rica this winter, some changes have been made, I will be leading the retreat alone and will only take up to 10 students. Some spaces are still open, so if you are interested let me know.